Best Friends Forever or Not????
by Nancy ShieldsNancy Shields
Writer and diarist, born in Paris, Anais Nin says it best when it comes to friends. " Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born. "
All of us have been a girlfriend at one time or another; girlfriends have come and gone in our lives, but we continue to seek each other. There is nothing more refreshing than when we find new, " gal pals. " Each one of us has had that experience. We are invigorated and can be refreshed by a chance encounter with a complete stranger. These moments of finding new friendships are so much fun. You make plans; you discover your similarities, your differences. It's equivalent to finding a new love. At times, just like a new love affair, our girlfriend relationships start to evaporate and lose its luster. This can happen for many reasons, it can be because your girlfriend does not agree with your new love relationship, or the decision you made about something going on in your ife. This is why it's so important to stay open to change and non-judgment with our girlfriends. I know for myself, I like girlfriends that are there to support me. To listen and hear me out when I'm experiencing a situation causing me pain or frustration. The unfortunate thing, it’s not always like that. There is nothing like the pain of when a girlfriend does you wrong. It can be a betrayal, a deception, a gossip to someone else. She promised you she won't tell, but then you find out she did tell. Ouch, that hurts and the TRUST has been broken. Those are the " bitches " that our out to get us; they appear “wonderful” when you first meet then something happens. I sometimes wonder, what happened. I can speculate that it can be jealousy - jealousy of what you have, of who you are, the way you look.
So I ask myself, why can't girlfriends be there to help each other instead of compete with each other? Before I forget, this is very important - I personally make it a point that when I see a beautiful woman (may it be inside or out) - I make sure to go up to her and tell her that! I ask that each one of you reading this make it a point to practice this. Okay, now back to my question, why can't girlfriends be there to help each other instead of compete with each other. We live in a very self centered world - we don't feel good about ourselves, we don't have the best self-esteem, we don't feel smart - whatever the reasons for our own inadequacies - it spreads like wildfire onto others. If we felt good about ourselves, and we were secure about our place in life, then we could start feeling the joy for others, and we'd want to be there for our " girlfriends " . We wouldn’t feel jealous if they bought themselves a brand new car or a brand new pair of “fancy shoes.” We would be happy for their success. They worked hard to get themselves these things - share in their joy and happiness. No competition here, but pure glee! Again, let me restate the obvious - " if we are happy with our lives and the way we live”, then there would be no room for jealousy!
There are 2 different type of girlfriends out there – the basement friends and the balcony friends, you know who those ladies are, the basement friends are there to bring you down, to spoil your fun - to have you second guess yourself. Then there are the balcony friends, they are your cheerleaders, they encourage you, bring you up when you’re down, and experience the joys of life with you. I choose to surround myself with the balcony friends and then basement friends I stay clear of. You know how these basement friends are, we’ve all have had at least one in our lives. They are the ones that after you leave their presence you feel about 50 pounds heavier.
How many times have you phoned a friend and you only want their ear, but instead they give you " what you should do " speech.” They lecture you and want to make it all better, when in reality you just need an ear to vent to. I'm sure they want to help, but ladies, it's about time you realized that saying nothing and just listening is the best thing a great friend can do. You may want to try to ask questions in order for them to come up with a different plan, or allow them to think things through on " THEIR " timeline and not " YOURS. " So ladies, let's start complimenting each other instead of competing with each other. Let's start reaching out to other women and raise their self awareness. Let's encourage and inspire one another with the way we choose to live and not tear each other down. We must make a conscious effort in extending a hand to other women and really listening and helping. I will end with this quote by Roy Kroft, “ I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me that you bring out.”
Remember, may the possibilities of today excite us ALL!
Article submitted Sunday, July 11, 2010 & read 904 times.
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