Okay God, Don't fail Me Now
by Susan Thom(42)http://onsuchthings.com
I have always been a firm believer in speaking to God at any time and in any place. It never mattered where I was, I always knew He would hear my prayers. As I became older, I started to go through all the problems and heartaches we all tend to go through. No matter what the particulars, I never doubted that God was not only watching, but preparing me for whatever was ahead.
Many times I'd beg for His loving care and guidance, realizing early on that I was responsible for my own thoughts and actions. I also became familiar with the fact that life's hardships and tribulations were stepping stones, and asking for guidance was better than asking for a new car or the job I wanted. Had I not done this, I think I would have relied on my Heavenly father for exact answers, or particular prayers to be satisfied.
The first mountain I needed to get past, was my mother's illness when I was in my early 30's. I couldn't ask God to save her life, because I knew the cancer was spreading, so instead, I asked God for His help in dealing with the way I thought and with the emotions I was feeling. This He did, but it wasn't until I made it clear to myself that I was the one who had to do the work, that I understood.
I had no control over my mom's progression, but I had control over the way I thought about losing her. She was only 59, but it was apparent that God wanted her with him then, not when she was 98, as I wanted. This was difficult, and my Faith swayed back and forth. When I figured out that only God knew what was happening, and why, I decided to count on Him to see me through.
Following her death, I was not as prepared as I thought. I questioned God, and even yelled at Him at times. Once I was able to step back and evaluate the situation, I knew if I prayed for guidance, that's what I would get. "Guide me Lord, to accept what You want from me, and the power to carry that out." Much more satisfying than asking to win the million dollar lottery, and turning against him when I lost.
This helped immensely. What is going to happen, will, so I find it better to ask for the strength I need to go through each situation the best I can. I haven't really found a circumstance yet that was insurmountable. I believe this is because God is listening, and I am absorbing His guidance and making that situation more bearable. I'm no longer closing the door, and demanding that my hopes and dreams alone come true.
If I want something, I have to be willing to do the right things in order for that to happen. Sometimes, the road isn't easy. However, I don't doubt God's intentions like I would have once, had I not gotten what I prayed for. I've had many examples of "things working out for the best." As a result, it's been easier to deal with life's little, and big, letdowns.
If I wanted a sport car, and couldn't afford one, it was easier knowing that God was not only listening, but looking out for me as well. I simply knew that maybe it wasn't safe for me, and a van was what I needed at the time. That didn't mean I didn't continue to drool over every vet that drove past me, but it was easier knowing there must be a reason.
Therefore, I thanked God for His guidance, and moved on. My eldest children are in the military, and I continually need to draw my thoughts back to God, and not what may happen to them. I need to stock up on His guidance and Love to get through anything that comes along. His strength is what I need to move forward. "Okay God, don't fail me now."
Article submitted Saturday, August 29, 2009 & read 308 times.
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